just different...

its amazing how words or the lack thereof can make the biggest impact.

i thought i was so confident and ok with being different looking...

but when you come to a country where people are just blunt even if its rude you come to realize your maybe not as sure about yourself....

maybe its the language barrier and im twisting things because their english is as choppy as my german

but maybe its true.

and i feel like i'm embarassing my family now too...
they had such high expectations and told all their friends about me..

i felt like they were expecting megan fox...

and then dani showed up.

"i thought models were supposed to be pretty"

ouch.

modeling is just a hobby..not something i do because i'm vain or think im hot.
i just love the art.

im sorry to be such a disappointment

its more than just a stomach ache

i know my words arent as eloquent as they could be....

i know i never say the right thing..

and i especially know its never at the right time.

i hate all these games and complicated rules of dating.

all i know is that i'm dani....

and i have a lot to offer.

a lot that i want to share with someone...

and being a hopeless romantic doesnt help this.

i overthink it way too much...

but i think that i should be thinking even more about it...

because apparently i've been doing something wrong for a long time..

i just want a guy to be different..

someone that wants to get to know me...

and not change after a few months....

will someone please write me a book on all of these rules so i can start doing it right?

because following my rule and going with my gut isnt getting me anywhere.

darn you gut.

beautiful disaster

i would change everything for a happy ever after...
i'm perfect only in my imperfections..
i'm just the way i am....and i'm not sure that its always okay..
i guess in a way its just an ugly beautiful disaster...